http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RubpjwhQbyk
Gotta love the Kiwis.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Thursday, November 10, 2011
REM - YouTube videos
Covering "Love Is All Around" by the Troggs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBI20YkvkOQ&list=LLu3lNMvBfLbS-3HAUPpYMLQ&index=18&feature=plpp_video
"Fall On Me" from MTV "Unplugged" 1991
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRUKoS4scU4&list=LLu3lNMvBfLbS-3HAUPpYMLQ&index=20&feature=plpp_video
1983 - "Carnival of Sorts" (live from a Nickelodeon show!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmWW8pZS7ys
"I Believe" - from 1989 Green tour:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyGW6jUGtrM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBI20YkvkOQ&list=LLu3lNMvBfLbS-3HAUPpYMLQ&index=18&feature=plpp_video
"Fall On Me" from MTV "Unplugged" 1991
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRUKoS4scU4&list=LLu3lNMvBfLbS-3HAUPpYMLQ&index=20&feature=plpp_video
1983 - "Carnival of Sorts" (live from a Nickelodeon show!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmWW8pZS7ys
"I Believe" - from 1989 Green tour:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AyGW6jUGtrM
I love YouTube music videos
Mike Mills - REM - covering "Baby, Baby" by The Vibrators:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk75VSFmUgE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nk75VSFmUgE
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Bantu time-horizons, diminishing marginal returns ...
I'm trying to understand people.
Specifically, female people.
A good friend of mine says I have the time-horizon of a Bantu. I think he means they live only in the now and have just the dimmest sense of a future or a past.
Certainly I make a lot of choices and decisions for immediate-gratification.
I guess the question is, "what makes women pay attention to men?" If you're like me, a man who enjoys female attention, who basks in it, you have to wonder about their motivations.
I attract people for all different sorts of reasons. Some of my friends just think I'm funny or interesting or whatever. Other "friends" think I'm useful -- for helping them out financially or emotionally or keeping them from being bored.
The validation that comes from someone paying attention to you for things you think are fundamental to your character and your being, now that is special!
Then there are times when someone (e.g., my ex-wife or a particular soccer-mom ex-girlfriend) just finds me useful, because I fulfill certain husband/boyfriend purposes pretty well and pretty consistently. In a way, that's very tricky and misleading. It FEELS like they care about you, but the truth is: anyone who would fulfill those functions would do.
Exotic dance clubs teach a few lessons. One I'm learning is, it's illusory: you go in there, and you feel rich, powerful, important, however briefly. Giving away money in big chunks makes one feel generous, wealthy, magnanimous. And yes, you get attention....for a few moments.
But dancers have short memories, or possibly the substances they're enjoying render them incapable of registering (in long-term memory) the fact that you've been generous.
It's like they have dementia of a sort. OK, it's an alcohol- or cocaine- or meth-based dementia, but still.
The bottom line is, their attention is not "personal". Nor is it enduring. It endures for maybe a 3- or 4-minute song's length, and that's all. Or until you quit buying them drinks or VIP dances.
I have a habit of cultivating female friends everywhere I go, usually Platonic in nature. I like to feel like I matter to them.
One friend in particular (this summer) demonstrated clearly that I was just an unpaid therapist. When I tired of her self-absorption and objected to her self-centered behaviors, she vanished. I thought we had been close friends, for several years. Yet, when I called her out on her narcissism and lack of consideration for others (me), there was no discussion.
I basically said, "the free ride ends here, either this will be a two-way street friendship or it will end". And she vanished.
What's funny, I don't miss her. Her calls and concerns were invariably about her own drama and love-life, rarely about Sam or his life or interests. She is typical of a small minority of my women friends. I've had one or two in each place I've lived, and usually I reached a point of asking myself, "what do I get out of this so-called friendship?" The answer was usually "not much".
The reality was, I liked their attention and their conversations, even though they were She-centered and had little if anything to do with me. I liked the fact that they would call me, visit me, talk to me, spend time with me. I didn't stop and ask, "WHY is she calling, visiting, talking with me, spending time with me?"
I should have.
I'm not resentful or bitter. I made the choice to accept that pattern, that asymmetry, that unilateral give-give and rarely get back dynamic.
But I ask myself now: should I continue that pattern? Those (very small % of my) friends were vampires, sucking off my life-energy, absorbing my attention and compassion and giving little in return.
I have a lot to give, so I didn't mind too much. I also liked feeling "important".
But I have so many other friends who give so MUCH to me, who care about me for myself, intrinsically, who share themselves with me, who make me laugh, show me a great time, who open up and are "real" with me.....why would I continue to carry the freeloading few, who drain me, don't value me, and ultimately (when I ask for reciprocity in our friendship) abandon me for their next victim?
Why, indeed?
Specifically, female people.
A good friend of mine says I have the time-horizon of a Bantu. I think he means they live only in the now and have just the dimmest sense of a future or a past.
Certainly I make a lot of choices and decisions for immediate-gratification.
I guess the question is, "what makes women pay attention to men?" If you're like me, a man who enjoys female attention, who basks in it, you have to wonder about their motivations.
I attract people for all different sorts of reasons. Some of my friends just think I'm funny or interesting or whatever. Other "friends" think I'm useful -- for helping them out financially or emotionally or keeping them from being bored.
The validation that comes from someone paying attention to you for things you think are fundamental to your character and your being, now that is special!
Then there are times when someone (e.g., my ex-wife or a particular soccer-mom ex-girlfriend) just finds me useful, because I fulfill certain husband/boyfriend purposes pretty well and pretty consistently. In a way, that's very tricky and misleading. It FEELS like they care about you, but the truth is: anyone who would fulfill those functions would do.
Exotic dance clubs teach a few lessons. One I'm learning is, it's illusory: you go in there, and you feel rich, powerful, important, however briefly. Giving away money in big chunks makes one feel generous, wealthy, magnanimous. And yes, you get attention....for a few moments.
But dancers have short memories, or possibly the substances they're enjoying render them incapable of registering (in long-term memory) the fact that you've been generous.
It's like they have dementia of a sort. OK, it's an alcohol- or cocaine- or meth-based dementia, but still.
The bottom line is, their attention is not "personal". Nor is it enduring. It endures for maybe a 3- or 4-minute song's length, and that's all. Or until you quit buying them drinks or VIP dances.
I have a habit of cultivating female friends everywhere I go, usually Platonic in nature. I like to feel like I matter to them.
One friend in particular (this summer) demonstrated clearly that I was just an unpaid therapist. When I tired of her self-absorption and objected to her self-centered behaviors, she vanished. I thought we had been close friends, for several years. Yet, when I called her out on her narcissism and lack of consideration for others (me), there was no discussion.
I basically said, "the free ride ends here, either this will be a two-way street friendship or it will end". And she vanished.
What's funny, I don't miss her. Her calls and concerns were invariably about her own drama and love-life, rarely about Sam or his life or interests. She is typical of a small minority of my women friends. I've had one or two in each place I've lived, and usually I reached a point of asking myself, "what do I get out of this so-called friendship?" The answer was usually "not much".
The reality was, I liked their attention and their conversations, even though they were She-centered and had little if anything to do with me. I liked the fact that they would call me, visit me, talk to me, spend time with me. I didn't stop and ask, "WHY is she calling, visiting, talking with me, spending time with me?"
I should have.
I'm not resentful or bitter. I made the choice to accept that pattern, that asymmetry, that unilateral give-give and rarely get back dynamic.
But I ask myself now: should I continue that pattern? Those (very small % of my) friends were vampires, sucking off my life-energy, absorbing my attention and compassion and giving little in return.
I have a lot to give, so I didn't mind too much. I also liked feeling "important".
But I have so many other friends who give so MUCH to me, who care about me for myself, intrinsically, who share themselves with me, who make me laugh, show me a great time, who open up and are "real" with me.....why would I continue to carry the freeloading few, who drain me, don't value me, and ultimately (when I ask for reciprocity in our friendship) abandon me for their next victim?
Why, indeed?
Monday, September 12, 2011
What strip-clubs can teach you about life ....
1) You never dip your toe in the same river twice
2) You see the best...and the worst in human nature
3) You learn what REALLY motivates someone
4) You learn who really has the power, sexually (hint: it is NOT men)
...to be continued...
Keep!Hope!!Aliiiiive!!!
a Jesse Jackson '80s slogan
Actually - it's a recipe for perpetual suffering.
I need to let hope DIE.
I need to accept that, maybe, life will only be what I have now, and what I see in the foreseeable future.
And that is OK.
2) You see the best...and the worst in human nature
3) You learn what REALLY motivates someone
4) You learn who really has the power, sexually (hint: it is NOT men)
...to be continued...
Keep!Hope!!Aliiiiive!!!
a Jesse Jackson '80s slogan
Actually - it's a recipe for perpetual suffering.
I need to let hope DIE.
I need to accept that, maybe, life will only be what I have now, and what I see in the foreseeable future.
And that is OK.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
New Year's in Iceland -- drunk supermodels partying like Rock Stars?
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/movies/movie-news/Quentin+Tarantino-12391.html
I am on board with Tarantino on this!
I am on board with Tarantino on this!
Two of my favorite authors!
I just found out they've already collaborated on a book together.
Nora Dunn I know from skydiving in Canada (1996) and Illinois (1997, World Freefall Convention).
She is a remarkable person! Here's her blog
http://www.theprofessionalhobo.com/
The "No Baggage Challenge" is a great piece!
The other is Leo Babauta, who writes
http://zenhabits.net/
and (my favorite of his)
http://mnmlist.com/
Nora Dunn I know from skydiving in Canada (1996) and Illinois (1997, World Freefall Convention).
She is a remarkable person! Here's her blog
http://www.theprofessionalhobo.com/
The "No Baggage Challenge" is a great piece!
The other is Leo Babauta, who writes
http://zenhabits.net/
and (my favorite of his)
http://mnmlist.com/
If It Makes You HAPPY ...
Today, I jumped Henrietta!
A great sit-fly solo skydive on a perfect day.
I jumped on Safety Day (March 12). Then I inadvertently entered a five-month layoff.
I love jumping. Why did I procrastinate about resuming something I love so much!?
Reasons: sloth, lack of focus, and spending money chasing women (rather inconclusively, but quite expensively)
Going to Couch Freaks Boogie (Fort Dodge Iowa) this weekend. The guys at this drop-zone go every year and invited me to camp out with them and jump.
A great sit-fly solo skydive on a perfect day.
I jumped on Safety Day (March 12). Then I inadvertently entered a five-month layoff.
I love jumping. Why did I procrastinate about resuming something I love so much!?
Reasons: sloth, lack of focus, and spending money chasing women (rather inconclusively, but quite expensively)
Going to Couch Freaks Boogie (Fort Dodge Iowa) this weekend. The guys at this drop-zone go every year and invited me to camp out with them and jump.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Planning for the inevitable
I'm divorced, no kids (that I know of!) ... no steady girlfriend at the moment.
I'm happy. I like my work. I got a useful degree (finally) and am working in my field.
But ... if something happened to me (car wreck, slip & fall, end up in coma or dead) ...
who would plan my "farewell" festivities?
In other words, who would set up a memorial service? I skydive and want to have my friends jump with my ashes (if anything ever happens).
Who knows that? Who would arrange that?
A year or two ago, I made a list of my favorite songs. But I haven't given it to anyone - so who would find it? who would get the music organized and play my "playlist" on the sound system while people are boo-hoo-ing?
As a stopgap, you can go here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/adventuroussam?feature=mhee
Bottom line: I have to plan this crap for myself.
Single people, you know this. When you get sick, who gets your meds at the pharmacy? Answer: unless you have close (local!) friends, you're on your own. You drive yourself to Walgreen's etc. Even if you are green with nausea and delirious! ack!
I mean, people in couples don't realize or consider this, but. If you're single and if you don't do it yourself, it doesn't get done. Period. (dishes? grocery shopping? home repairs?) It's all up to you. Single people know this.
My parents - married for 48 years! -- they each know what the other wants, if sh1t happens to one of them.
No one in my life knows my innermost wishes about post-life stuff.
I've written some notes to myself - e.g., invite so-and-so, NO casket b/s, just a happy photo of me in my regular life, here's $10,000 Sam left for us to throw him One Last Bash - at his expense! Cremate me, take my ashes up to 13,500 feet AGL, do one last 4-way, and release me to the sky.
Play my favorite songs on YouTube and/or an MP3 player, dance, party, know I loved you.
Problem is: I haven't communicated that to anyone, other than through happenstance conversations. Not systematically. Not completely.
Well, it occurred to me: this blog is a perfect place for me to post all my preferences.
Then I just have to tell people - if anything ever happens to me suddenly and I'm incapacitated, CHECK THE BLOG: the instructions are right there! ha!
This may seem morbid to some, but you know: if I don't document it now (in advance) and something DOES happen, it would be too late.
Then I get some lame-oh funeral home crap, no party, no open bar for my friends, and some bozo at the funeral home *embalms* me! A pet peeve! agh!
Answer: document it here; make sure close friends, Mom, Dad know -- hope to Buddha that they follow through. (I'm a living-will person; my folks are on board; they know exactly how I feel and have agreed to abide by my requests.)
I tell you one thing, though: anyone embalms me (contrary to my wishes!), I'll be HAUNTING them for years!!!! ha ha!
8-)
Stay tuned
I'm happy. I like my work. I got a useful degree (finally) and am working in my field.
But ... if something happened to me (car wreck, slip & fall, end up in coma or dead) ...
who would plan my "farewell" festivities?
In other words, who would set up a memorial service? I skydive and want to have my friends jump with my ashes (if anything ever happens).
Who knows that? Who would arrange that?
A year or two ago, I made a list of my favorite songs. But I haven't given it to anyone - so who would find it? who would get the music organized and play my "playlist" on the sound system while people are boo-hoo-ing?
As a stopgap, you can go here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/adventuroussam?feature=mhee
Bottom line: I have to plan this crap for myself.
Single people, you know this. When you get sick, who gets your meds at the pharmacy? Answer: unless you have close (local!) friends, you're on your own. You drive yourself to Walgreen's etc. Even if you are green with nausea and delirious! ack!
I mean, people in couples don't realize or consider this, but. If you're single and if you don't do it yourself, it doesn't get done. Period. (dishes? grocery shopping? home repairs?) It's all up to you. Single people know this.
My parents - married for 48 years! -- they each know what the other wants, if sh1t happens to one of them.
No one in my life knows my innermost wishes about post-life stuff.
I've written some notes to myself - e.g., invite so-and-so, NO casket b/s, just a happy photo of me in my regular life, here's $10,000 Sam left for us to throw him One Last Bash - at his expense! Cremate me, take my ashes up to 13,500 feet AGL, do one last 4-way, and release me to the sky.
Play my favorite songs on YouTube and/or an MP3 player, dance, party, know I loved you.
Problem is: I haven't communicated that to anyone, other than through happenstance conversations. Not systematically. Not completely.
Well, it occurred to me: this blog is a perfect place for me to post all my preferences.
Then I just have to tell people - if anything ever happens to me suddenly and I'm incapacitated, CHECK THE BLOG: the instructions are right there! ha!
This may seem morbid to some, but you know: if I don't document it now (in advance) and something DOES happen, it would be too late.
Then I get some lame-oh funeral home crap, no party, no open bar for my friends, and some bozo at the funeral home *embalms* me! A pet peeve! agh!
Answer: document it here; make sure close friends, Mom, Dad know -- hope to Buddha that they follow through. (I'm a living-will person; my folks are on board; they know exactly how I feel and have agreed to abide by my requests.)
I tell you one thing, though: anyone embalms me (contrary to my wishes!), I'll be HAUNTING them for years!!!! ha ha!
8-)
Stay tuned
Friday, August 12, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
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